Though the Brightest Fell: Epilogue

[tornknees]

The big maple at the edge of the yard blocks the setting sun almost completely so only a few shafts of orange light break through the gaps between the leaves. It smells of fresh cut grass —Sam had shown up at noon to get the chance to mow it himself —and the citronella candles that Lisa and Gabriel are in the process of lighting around the yard to keep the mosquitoes at bay. Sam can’t help but be a little jealous of the yard and garden that Dean and Lisa had put so much time and effort into. It had been strange how much he’d liked doing yard work for those few months that he and Gabriel had stayed in their guest room, though he usually had to fight Dean for the privilege of mowing and typically got stuck using the weed trimmer instead.

Dean had been a little more generous with the mower lately, now that Sam and Gabriel are living in their own apartment and had been for the past nine months. He indulged Sam's yard work fetish, letting him man the mower and the weed trimmer while he followed behind with the rake to clean up and compost the clippings. Of course Lisa and Gabriel teased them mercilessly over their lawn obsession, especially since today wasn't supposed to be about cutting the grass.

"I really can't thank you enough for this, y'know," it's already the second time Sam's thanked him since they finally went back outside to get the barbecue going, stepping away from everyone else for a moment. "I know he really likes spending time with you guys, even if you are still his favourite target."

The first few months or so after Raphael and the end of the civil war had been a pretty rough affair, he and Gabriel both getting settled, Gabriel adjusting to the idea of being human and all the little details he hadn't had to worry about before. Lisa had been a surprisingly big help throughout all of it, infinitely patient with both Sam and Gabriel for all the sleepless nights and the mistakes and accidents that resulted. Any time Sam tried to thank her for it she just brushed the matter away. She’d taken Gabriel under her wing as soon as it was clear they were staying put, taking him with her grocery shopping and to the post office, teaching him how to cook and drive and all the little things that he’d been able to bypass as an archangel and a trickster. She’d done it all without complaint —excluding the day Gabriel set the stove on fire, and the day he broke the washing machine —because Sam and Gabriel were family. Helping Gabriel out was easier than raising Ben had been anyway, she claimed, and with Sam and Gabriel always leaning on each other through the really rough patches they weren't much more difficult than Dean was when he first showed up broken on her doorstep. Everything was always easier the second and third time around.

They spent roughly three months living with Dean, Lisa, and Ben, getting readjusted to the idea of normalcy, of settling down, and setting the stage for Sam and Gabriel to enter into civilised society. They had to call in favours to clean Sam’s record and to set one up for Gabriel but it had been done before it came time for them to move out and for Sam to apply for the next fall school semester. There had been little discussion the following days or weeks after being zapped into the living room about what they were going to do. It had just been a silent consensus. They were done hunting; it was someone else’s turn to take up the cause and save lives. At least for awhile, they had to worry about their own.

It had been Lisa who’d actually suggested the barbecue, everyone getting together to celebrate Gabriel’s first birthday (Sam had suggested 41st and subsequently slept on the couch), offering up her home to host it since their apartment was too small.

“Don’t mention it. We’re kind of doing it for selfish reasons anyway. You two are too damn hard to get a hold of now that you live so far away, and this was as good an excuse as any to get you over and make a little announcement of our own.” Dean shrugs his shoulders, trying to act disinterested in the topic, flipping the burgers maybe a little prematurely to try and distract both of them from what he’s let slip.

“Announcement, huh?” Sam’s eyes narrow slightly as he eyes his brother, watching as he scrapes at the grill a little more aggressively than he needs to, trying to focus his attention on something else. Dean was always terrible at keeping good secrets. Whenever Dean gets good news he wants to share it, and has a hard time sitting still until he can. He’s been doing it all day, Sam realises a little belatedly, the grass had kept him up and moving, kept talking to a bare minimum so he didn’t ruin the surprise. Dean’s well aware of his own tells, but Sam is even more so.

He turns a little and watches as Lisa presses a hand to her stomach as she laughs at something Gabriel’s said, and knowing his boyfriend it’s probably something that insults Dean who is still his favourite target. Some things never really change. She looks beautiful in her dark blue sundress, radiant even, as she smiles wide and bright at Gabriel, reaching over to swat at his arm in mock reprisal. Sam can’t help but grin himself as he takes in the scene, turning back to Dean who looks so proud and happy Sam’s chest aches with it.

“Congrats, man. Seriously.”

Dean rubs the back of his neck, playing at embarrassed as a faint flush rises behind his freckles but the smile doesn’t dim in the least; if anything it gets wider, the crinkles around his eyes deepening before his face turns abruptly serious. “You better act surprised. If she thinks I told you she’ll kill me. I swear she will. She’s crazy.”

The fact that there seems to be a bit of real fear there just makes Sam laugh louder.

“So, uh, how are you two doing anyway?”

It's another thing that Dean's pretty sure he's not going to get used to, Sam and Gabriel being . . . Well, Sam and Gabriel. But he's trying. The two seem genuinely happy together, even if Sam isn't gay (and Jesus that had been one drunken conversation he wishes they'd never had). Gabe, the jury’s sort of out on. After years of being a pagan god he's done plenty that blurs the lines sexuality-wise and Dean’s heard some stories that were definitely not legal, unlike the 'almost illegal' that Dean usually gets up to. Or used to, anyway. Again, conversations he wishes he'd never had.

He's expecting the usual good, we're doing good. One day at a time, that he typically gets, the response encompassing everything: their relationship and the past to work and school. Lisa had set them up with counselling after they moved out, someone to talk to regularly, someone who actually knew what they were doing. Gabe's still going, but Sam stopped about a month ago. He said it was too hard to make any progress when he was lying about what was wrong, even if the lie was as similar as he could make it. Being held prisoner in Iraq is probably as close to Hell as anyone can get on earth, but it's still not the Pit. Without any scars there wasn’t much Sam could say without looking like a liar anyway. He couldn’t talk about how he’d been tortured for years, or about the time he’d been set on fire when there wasn’t a trace being left behind. He still talks to Gabriel about it though, and it seems to have helped. Sam's gone back to school too, giving him something to focus on other than Hell, something to work toward. It isn’t Stanford, but Maurer ranks pretty high, and Bloomington isn’t unreasonably far from Dean and Lisa in Cicero. If anything had changed with them Dean would know, regardless of distance, and so the usual answer is to be expected.

Except he doesn't get the usual answer. He doesn't get any answer at all.

"Sam?" he turns to look and Sam's got his sheepish, nervous expression, shifting from foot to foot. It looks a lot like when he was eleven and told Dean he'd offered to host study group at their place, and please don't be mad but it was really important and they had nowhere else to go, please Dean? Please?"What? Sammy, what'd you do?"

"Nothing. Yet. I think I'm gonna . . . I mean, I already got the —“

“Jesus, Sam, just come out with it.”

Sam casts a look over his shoulder, to where Gabriel's helping Lisa and Ben set the table on the patio. It’s a nice night, too nice to waste it inside, especially when there are so few outdoor barbecue nights left before fall hits and they’re forced indoors. In the dimming golden light of sunset and the flickering citronella candles Gabriel looks fantastic. It turned out that the little stint at Springfield University wasn’t all torturing frat boys and serving arrogant professors their just desserts. Gabriel actually liked being a janitor —maintenance staff, specifically —and with all his wit and charm and Bobby serving as a referral from Springfield U he landed a job at Maurer before Sam even knew if he’d been accepted. The work agrees with Gabriel, the past few summer months he’s worked mostly outdoors, doing lawns and other little maintenance projects. It’s left him toned up and tanned, the freckles across his nose a little darker and Sam imagines he can see them from across the yard though he knows it’s just his memory filling in the blanks. The beard is one aspect he can see, shaving the one thing Gabriel never did manage to really embrace. It looks good on him though, kept neat enough and even showing a few stray grey hairs that Sam gets to tease him about. It’s still the eyes that do it to him though, feeling himself flush when Gabriel finally looks over, eyebrows raising in question before returning Sam’s smile and turning his attention back to his conversation with Lisa. When Sam looks back to Dean, who’s still waiting for an answer he realises, the flush just goes deeper; the nervousness comes back in full force. He stuffs his hand into the pocket of his jeans and pulls out the little box, handing it over to his brother.

"It's stupid, isn't it? I was gonna do it tonight maybe, after dinner or on the way home or something but it's stupid, isn't it? He's going to say no."

It’s simple; a wide silvery band with gold plated edges, and by the weight of the thing in his hand Dean’s money is on stainless steel or tungsten, practical and affordable, and while he would have normally teased Sam about being cheap the kid is already nervous enough. Really it’s pretty damned adorable. “He tells you no and I’ll kick his ass. He’s lucky to have you, Sammy, and he knows it,” he assures instead, giving Sam a wide grin as he hands the box back, glancing over his shoulder to make sure everyone else is too busy to notice.

"Sam, you just better hope this doesn't give Lisa any ideas."

Sam laughs so hard it actually hurts.

“What’s so funny?”

Sam jumps, and normally Gabriel would have thought that was pretty funny, but Sam’s been jumpy and stressed out for the last week and he’s starting to get worried. Usually if something’s bothering Sam he’ll let Gabriel in on it, but whatever this is he’s keeping it to himself and Gabriel doesn’t like it. He’s not willing to press, though, at least not yet. “Just came to check on the burgers, everything else is already set up.”

He presses himself against Sam’s back, fingers curling over his hip bones and chin resting on his shoulder as he looks over at the grill. Normally he tries to keep the PDA to a minimum, especially around Dean in deference to the fact that Dean has done a hell of a lot for Sam and him and Gabriel knows that while he’d come to accept the idea of the two of them Dean isn’t quite at a place where he was ready to have a front row seat for it. But, tonight he can’t really help himself if he lets his fingers slip underneath the fabric of Sam’s plaid button-down to run along the smooth, taut skin. It’s his birthday after all, and Gabriel’s entitled . . . and he may have already gotten in a glass or two of wine while prepping for dinner and waiting for the burgers with Lisa.

“Burger’s are ready now.” Dean announces, resolutely not looking over at Gabriel while he all but molests his little brother, lifting the burgers from the grill and piling them onto the plate sitting beside him. “C’mon, dinner time,” he orders, giving Sam a look that Gabriel can’t quite decipher before heading over to the table. Nothing bad, encouraging even, but Gabriel’s not sure why or for what.

What’s more distracting though is the feel of eyes watching him from somewhere beyond the barbecue. It’s a feeling that’s crept up off and on over the past few months, and although at first he’d thought it might have been Sam he quickly figured out the real culprit by the way his skin prickled and the hair at the nape of his neck stood up. Part of his soul reaching for what it lost, though otherwise Gabriel can’t feel anything missing. Not with Sam around. As unnerving as it had first been, the watching is reassuring in a way he doesn’t really want it to be, but if Castiel has time to waste stalking him then things have settled back down in Heaven, begun functioning as it should, and he is relieved.

Someday, and someday soon he thinks, he’s going to have to forgive Castiel, tell him to quit hiding and show himself. It won’t be today though. Today he’s celebrating with his family, and he isn’t going to let angels and all the drama they bring ruin this day for him.

He pulls back and lets Sam turn around, flashing him a bright smile before grabbing his hand and all but dragging Sam behind him.

“Come on. Lisa won’t let me have cake until after everyone’s eaten, so you better eat fast.”

It’s impossible to ignore the thrill that runs through him when Sam laughs loud and clear in the night air. Some things never change, like a Trickster’s sweet tooth, and a guardian angel keeping watch. Gabriel hopes, as he pulls Sam to sit down beside him and keeps their hands entwined beneath the table, that this is one of those things.


End

Comments

[insertcode11.livejournal.com]

^__________________________^

You already know how much I LOVE this fic, how it's different for me and dark and angsty and hurty and sweet and loving and oh so good. I may come back and say more when I re-read it, but for now BWAHAHAHAHA - FIRST! \o/

[tornknees.livejournal.com]

lol you don't just get to claim first! That's cheating! :P I still appreciate how much you love it though! *SMISHES*

[rubystandish.livejournal.com]

So even though I read the story before I just had to read it again and each time it's just as great as the first time. I love this story and I can't help but feel sorry for Gabriel.

I had fun doing the art for this and I hope to "see" you next round.

[tornknees.livejournal.com]

I'm so glad you still like this fic even after having to do all that work for it :) It really was a pleasure working with you, and hopefully we do bump into each other again

[mangacrack.livejournal.com]

I love the story. Very well done.
The ending is a bit cliched ... barbecue and all, but fine. I had hoped for some specifics regarding Gabriels "human" condition. Because currently he just powerless, but sine he remembers being an angel (with that as well, the dawn of creation...) and all, I'm asking myself if he's truely human or what happens if he dies.

[tornknees.livejournal.com]

Sorry to disappoint. I had wanted to have the story at least temporarily have a happy ending, considering I've never really written one. I see it didn't work, and it won't happen again. Thank you.

[mangacrack.livejournal.com]

I'm not disappointed, I just wanted to point out that the ending could've been a bit ... smoother? Like this one can always expect that the shit can hit the fan anytime again.

[tornknees.livejournal.com]

It really could have been smoother, you're right, and the questions you first posted with were ones I never even attempted to answer in the story, which I had thought would be disappointing, I know it would have been for me in your position.

[wolfish-willow.livejournal.com]

This was so sad and dark and POOR GABRIEL. POOR SAM. They just couldn't catch a break for so long. :(

And I'm not gonna lie, I spent most of the time after Dean showed up wanting to throttle him. But at least they're all back on their feet in the end, right?

I think you wrote this extremely well. The gore and torture and dark parts were unnerving, which I think torture should be. It's certainly no walk in the park, right? lol. I wanted to hide my eyes behind my hands for what they went through in the cage and even once they were out. :'(

Well done.

[tornknees.livejournal.com]

Aaaw don't throttle Dean! It's not his fault that no one told him what was going on. But yes, everyone is back on their feet, for now anyway :)

I'm glad the darker scenes were so effective for you and that you thought it was well written.

Thank you so much!

[jumpmybones.livejournal.com]

Wow. I don't know what to say but that I really loved reading this every step and sorry for not reading it sooner because I think it is That good.

[tornknees.livejournal.com]

I'm so glad you enjoyed it as much as you did :D It really means a lot to me. Thank you so much for reading!